Are Tesco Croissants Bourgeois?

Darren C from the Frank Ryan Society takes an iconoclastic view of the republican frenzy of cognitive dissonance that surrounds the thorny subject of croissants.

A curious debate is raging amongst the resident belligerents of A minor spat on the class character of croissants has ignited a searing flame war that threatens to further fracture an already fragmented movement. The scene resembles a Mitchell family feud on Albert Square.

The ultra-lefts contend that the proletarian, poor peasant and the vagabond naturally view the sight and smell of croissants with envy, hatred and excusable malice. The average proletarian on the Falls Rd, they argue, abhors the sight of the enjoyment of good things from which his own economic position debars him.

The croissant also offends the protectionist sensibilities of the traditional republican. They believe we can eat our way out of the recession through dining on a staple diet of butter and jam on soda bread. They consider the increasing popularity of croissants and cappuccinos to be further proof of the Free State’s rapprochement with a burgeoning European super-state: No to Lisbon! No to Croissants!

This class of man has his prototype in the English Puritan of the 17th century who practically extolled the Ebionitic ideals of abstinence from fun, pleasure and luxury – except they would never admit to being Puritans because they were PROTESTANTS!

But real socialists – yes, Trotskyists – encourage the proletariat to develop a taste for bourgeois delights such as croissants and cappuccinos.  Once they acquire the taste for refinement in eating and drinking, then the present system of capitalism will very soon go by the wayside. There is no intrinsic value in the abstinence of croissants and cappuccinos, or caviar and champagne.

In contrast to the ultra-left and traditional republican impulse to drive down levels of consumption, we Trotskyists side with Big Bill Haywood, a leader of the “Wobblies”. When scorned by a comrade for smoking a good cigar, he replied: “Nothing is too good for the proletariat!”

Bon appétit!


5 Responses to “Are Tesco Croissants Bourgeois?”

  1. Tj Says:


    I love it.

    And I think the occasional cigar is great.

  2. Comrade C Says:

    I believe that the wine drinking, croissant chomping french workers are having a similar debate on the exquisite and exotic taste of cheddar cheese on Brennan’s bread, washed down with Roscommon buttermilk.

  3. Sweden Says:

    Couldn’t stop laughing. As said. Nothing is to good for the proletariat .

  4. pat c Says:

    Ah, I’m not as young as I look ye know. I remember once when Engels and myself were waiting at Manchester Central for Marx to arrive on the train from London. Marx subsequently alighted from a first class carraige and Engels was irritated by this. Marx responded with the immortal words: ” surely it is our intention to raise everyone up to first class rather than bring everyone down to third”.

    There you have it comrades.

    BTW Costa Coffee just opened on corner of Dawson Street and Molesworth Street does great coffee. I reccomend the medium latte and chocolate oat crunch cookies. Haven’t tried the croissants yet.

  5. Dan Says:

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    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up
    losing several weeks of hard work due to no data backup.
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